The Middle Way – Finding the Balance for Couples

By Lesley S. Cunningham, MA, LPC After watching a TV show that extolled the idea of the Middle Way, as in Buddhism, it seemed like a very nice solution to life in general … and, for couples, marriages/partnerships, in particular. In this sutta, the Buddha describes the middle way as a path of moderation, between the extremes of sensual indulgence and self-mortification. This, according to him, was the path of wisdom. It is not called the middle way because it lies between too much and too litt...
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The Perfect Storm – Perfectionism in Relationships

By Lesley S. Cunningham, MA, LPC We all say, “No one’s perfect!” But there is a subset of people who frankly strive to be and can seem pretty close. Born Perfect We are born as perfect as we will ever be: untainted, un-programmed, and un-manipulated. But soon thereafter, our well-intentioned parents may begin “fulfilling their dreams” through us, consciously and unconsciously. The dreams for their children hopefully will be translated into shaping behaviors that turn boys into success...
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The Couples Dance of Attachment

By Lesley Cunningham, MA, LPC If I have learned nothing else from Dancing with the Stars, it is at least a lovely metaphor for the dancing that couples do to maintain their most comfortable attachment level based on the early pattern they learned in childhood. There are many dance styles performed every week on the fun to watch show, but for our purposes, we will discuss the Tango, a sensual dance involving intimate connected holding, intense eye contact, and dramatic poses; and the Quick S...
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Married But Feeling Single?

by Jaime Davila, MA, LPC, NCC You might be wondering what I mean by my title, or perhaps you already know what I am alluding to. For those of you who aren’t sure, I am speaking of the emotional distance that sneaks into our intimate relationships. Relationship expert John Gottman, Ph.D., reports that emotional distance is one of the key issues that leads to separation and in some cases infidelity. Relationships are complicated arrangements that can seem simple on the surface. Add in the busy...
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